Feeling alone in The City

I always tell people that I’m an ambivert, and they look at me incredulously. I talk too much sometimes and I have a tendency to lose my filter. I enjoy being around people. I (usually) like the energy that being around positive people brings me. However, I enjoy my downtime, too. My roommates and I have a good thing going where a closed door = do not disturb, and sometimes I can sit in my room for hours without needing to see anyone else. I’ll lay in bed all day and be perfectly content within the confines of my mind. I go to parties and I socialize, but I have an energy bar and once I hit a “peak” in the night, my energy depletes and I leave early or shut down. I dread small talk, but I’m (apparently) good at it. My roommate laughs when I’m in a situation where I need to small talk other people, because I sit in my room filled with anxiety, fully freaking out, and then walk out and engage as if it was normal and easy for me. Read more

On dating, on fuckbois, and other things

First off, I want to start my blog off by addressing the fact that it’s now empty. Everything I previously posted has been made private. Why, you may ask? Because it was full of the past, the fact that I was pretending to find myself when really, I was still living for the acceptance of a boy who would never love me the way I loved him. I couldn’t fully move on and find myself when I was stuck to the past. Thus, I started my first few months in SF confined to my room, wasting my time in this beautiful city and not really enjoying it, even though I pretended to. I sought to find myself but only found my heart stuck in Michigan, not embracing what this city has to offer. (Um, everything?? Except affordable housing.)

Well, it’s time to move on. I’ve learned a lot since ending my relationship, but that’s a story for another time. For now, I want to talk about moving on and to discuss DATING LIFE in the CiTy.

SPOILERS! It fucking sucks.

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